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Practical: Generation X and Discipleship - some simple Do's and Don'ts

Submitted on Wednesday, November 19, 97
Graeme Codrington
Denomination: Baptist (All)
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Synopsis: Generation X - how to reach them - practical guidelines for church ministries, specifically small group related
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Generation X Papers

Generation X and Discipleship - some simple Do's and Don'ts

by Graeme Codrington



The following is simply a list of Generation X characteristics with some comments on how this may affect the discipleship program for Generation X'ers in your church and youth ministry, whether that be by evangelism to non-believers or support and growth of believers. This is neither comprehensive, nor in-depth. But there are some valuable pointers. Please note that Gen X is an attitude - it does not describe everyone born between 1963 and 1983 (or 1990 in South Africa). It reflects a certain sub-culture of that group, but it is a pretty pervasive attitude.




  • Characteristic - Comment

  • Interest in spirituality - Generation X'ers have an awakened spirituality. They are interested in spiritual topics, as exhibited by their fascination with the supernatural (witness programs like the X-Files, and Outer Limits). They are interested in God. BUT, they are NOT interested in church (see also next point). Thus, if possible, an unchurched person's introduction to Christianity should not be at a very organised, highly institutional event, but rather through low-key social interaction with Christians, or at a cell group. Gen X'ers are looking for an individual expression of spirituality, and are open to trying a Christianity that appears to be accepting of different expressions, and not rigid in its beliefs (in other words - open to discussion on issues, rather than asking people to blindly and thoughtlessly accept what is taught to them).
    Gen X'ers can accept unsolved issues, and mysteries. Ensure that you don't try to come across as having all the answers, or that Christianity is watertight in every way (although I believe it is, I do not believe that any interpretation of Scripture has the corner on the market). This, of course, needs to be balanced with the fact that God has revealed Himself and that Christianity is an exclusive religion. These are facts that can be introduced with time - but don't shove it in their face the first time you meet.
  • Authority - No Gen X worthy of the non-name will ever just respect someone because of their position. Thus, respect is always earned. Authority is bogus if it is not matched by a worthy lifestyle. Do not expect them to respond to you if your only answers are: "my pastor says so", or "The Bible tells me so". Those authorities may be accepted in time, but a lot more than that is needed if you don't want to be laughed out of town.
  • Commitment - Gen X'ers are perceived to have low commitment. This is partly true. Because they have been so let down in life, they refuse to commit to anything without first checking it out, and being real sure of it. They only really commit within the context of a real relationship. To help Gen X'ers get involved (and this applies to Christian and non-Christian Gen X'ers), make sure that initial commitment levels are clearly defined and short-term. You're more likely, for example, to get volunteers for your youth program if you say that they will have to meet from this time to that time on this night of the week, for 3 weeks a month for six months; than if you just ask them to a "helper". The precise definition of their involvement helps them, rather than scaring them away. This will even work for non-Christian Gen X'ers - which is why the British-based Alpha course is doing so well; it is a structured commitment, with a definite ending. Don't be surprised if the Gen X'er commits himself to doing the same thing again at the end of this time (and again, and again, for years) - but be careful to honour your agreement, and let him go at the end if that's what he wants.
  • Pragmatists - Gen X'ers are the ultimate pragmatists. This can be a bad thing, since they can lose sight of the goal, but it is a good thing, since they emphasize the process more than the product. That is what the Christian life is - a process. Make sure that your discipleship structure emphasizes the process. Also make sure that in teaching a Gen X'er you ALWAYS emphasize the "so what" aspect of what you're teaching. They love debating and arguing, and theology and so on, but the "bottom line" is vital - so what? what difference does it make? will it change my life? should it? These are vital questions for Gen X'ers.
  • Change - Gen X'ers expect change. They like change. If you don't change regularly, they'll leave. Quite simple, really.
  • Technology - These are children of technology. Use technology, use modern methods. Make it relevant by being up-to-date. Be careful, though, of being gimmicky and flashy, just for the sake of it. Use technology only when it definitely enhances what you want to teach.
  • Relationships - Gen X'ers are committed to relationships. This may seem strange after the way life has treated them, but they are committed to making work what they haven't seen working in their parents and older brothers and sister's lives. Gen X'ers will have the most abiding groups of friends, and we should see an improvement in divorce rates (that's my prediction for the future, and I stick by it). Thus, everything a Gen X'er is involved in must have a relational element. Bible Study without a social time (which is not just tagged on, but is seen as a real part of the whole program) is not going to happen long-term. The same applies to church and youth group. Allow "empty" times in your programs for relationships to develop. If you are ministering TO (rather than AS) Gen X'ers, then ensure that you enter into the relationships - don't stay aloof - especially as the leader. Unlike Boomers, who respect the untouchable executive in the mahogany-desked office, Gen X'ers are looking for the manager who'll get his hands dirty on the factory floor, and have a drink with them after work.
  • Vulnerability of leadership - Gen X'ers are prepared to be open and honest, but only if you go first. They are almost all hiding behind masks. To remove those masks, you, as leader, must remove yours first. Be vulnerable. They will respect those that make mistakes, AND admit those weaknesses and mistakes.
  • Truth - Truth is relative, or so they believe. The postmodern mindset sells this to us every day - the truth is out there... truth is inside of you... it's true for me...
    A Gen X'er needs to be in a safe environment where their truth can be tested and stretched, where they can ask tough questions without being thought of as radical, liberal, conservative (or any of the other Christian curse words we throw at each other).
  • Diversity and Unity - Which brings us to another point. Gen X'ers embrace diversity. They love differences, but differences all united together. Being together, but retaining an individual identity. They hate being squished into a mould. For them, the ideal society is every one doing their own thing for the common good. That's why you can't discern a fashion bias - long hair, short hair, no hair - guys and girls. Loud, soft, muted colours - guys and girls. Sexy, androgynous, masculine, feminine, unknown - guys and girls. Anything goes, and everything does. In terms of discipleship, this works out in the fact that Gen X'ers don't understand why we have so many different denominations, and why we can't get along (their pragmatic approach and view of truth add to this). They can't see why the different opinions on interpretation (for that is what they are - opinions and interpretations) can't all live alongside one another. Thus, give an X'er the options, and leave it open-ended for him to decide. Help him set the boundaries (which are always a lot broader than we like to think) and then set him free to make his own theological choices. Create groups of diverse interests and activities and perspectives.
  • Emotional Pain - Gen X'ers have a lot of pain to deal with, mainly stemming from broken homes and failed relationships, and a bleak future. Present Jesus, the Healer and the Friend. He is the Gen X model. Be sensitive yourself and really care.
  • Change the world - not! - Gen X'ers say "We can change the world - but only a little piece of it". Unlike Boomers, who thought they could control the universe (like Spielberg's ET), Gen X'ers live in a world out of control, and they know if they start to mess with it, they're going to get hurt (like Spielberg's Lost World, or a million other 1996 and 1997 movies: Starship Troopers, Event Horizon, etc, etc). They don't try to change the world, and can't relate to "big" emotions, like Greenpeace or Ban the Bomb, and so on (that's why I predict that these organisations are going to go through lean times soon - with the next Millenial generation picking up in about 15 years, when they get jobs). Thus, we should present locally-based, community, "small" projects as service projects. Working in a children's home, visiting a hospital, that sort of thing - something that's small, real, tangible, with short-term results and immediate effect.
  • Narrative/Stories - Tell stories and let them tell theirs. Use narrative evangelism techniques, and parables to get the message of the Gospel across. By this, I mean look into their world and find some parallels to the Gospel message. Use these to explain concepts like faith, grace, forgiveness, sin, etc. Create a shared language.
  • Be real - This is sort of a repeat - but it's important. Be real. Be vulnerable. Share yourself and don't hold back. If you don't know - say so. If you're unsure - say so. If you're scared, upset, angry, excited - say so. Be real.
  • Be rousing - Make it fun, make it exciting. Never boring. Engage their attention, and keep it. This is often done by rapid-fire changes in attention and program, with little bits of pieces of information and program and activity all adding together to make one point. At a youth night, the games, devotion, prayers, readings, stories, announcements, activities, songs, background music, visuals, and everything else should all carry one theme and one message.
  • Be relevant - Remember: they want to know "why?" and "how?" and "what for?".
  • Be relational - If you do nothing else, be a friend. And don't be a friend for the purpose of evangelism. Be a friend for the sake of being a friend. Let Jesus shine through, don't beat them over the head with Him.

    I hope that these few, simple, quick points will spark some thoughts. I hope to take each of these points and expand them fully into guidelines for Generation X. For now, just surf this site and you'll find a stack of information you can use.


    Other sites of possible interest at this domain:
    Youth Talks
    Evangelism Techniques

    Book recommendations:
    Click on these titles to purchase them from Amazon.com

    Jesus for a New Generation - by Kevin Ford
    Our Price: $10.39 (List: $12.99)
    Availability: This item usually ships within 2-3 days.
    Paperback, 259 pages, Intervarsity Press
    Publication date: November 1, 1995
    ISBN: 0830816151

    Inside the Soul of a New Generation : Insight and Strategies for Reaching Busters - by Tim Celek, Dieter Zander, Patrick Kampert
    Our Price: $7.99 (List $9.99)
    Availability: This item usually ships within 2-3 days.
    Paperback, Zondervan
    Publication date: May 1996
    ISBN: 0310205948

    13th Gen : Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail? - by Neil Howe, Bill Strauss
    Our Price: $9.60 (List: $12.00)
    Availability: This item usually ships within 2-3 days.
    Paperback, 229 pages, Vintage Books
    Publication date: March 1, 1993
    ISBN: 0679743650



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