Talk: Kissing

Kissing

An example of the narrative approach to evangelism
by Graeme Codrington

This is a sensitive talk to give, and you will have to judge the mood and temper of your group before trying it. It uses what could be titillating to bring across a rather subtle point, and must be handled with care. I am not convinced that the bridge I use below from the concept of kissing to the concpt of Christianity is as fluid as it could be - if you have any suggestions, let me know, please.

How would you define a kiss? (Wait for the general gigglyness to die down, and then press your point - take all answers).
It's a tough one, isn't it? You may think, "what type of kiss?", or "what do you mean by define?". It isn't the sort of question we would normally ask. Well, let me help you - I'm NOT talking of those slobbery disgusting kisses you get from grandma or great aunts. I'm thinking of a hunky guy (like me) and a beautiful girl.

So, in order to help those of you with less experience in this area, I have defined four types of kisses, and here are my definitions - in ascending order...

Note - you should do actions with each of these types. Either just mime it out, or actually get couples at different stages of going out to DO these kisses. Start with two volunteers. Then get a couple just started going out. Then get an established couple, or engaged leaders, etc. Then do the last with your own wife/husband (if they'll do it!). Make sure that there is nothing lewd about this - it should glorify the good side of sexual activity that God has created for us to enjoy. PS - the language is supposed to sound technical rather than passionate. That's part of the point.

Type 1 Kiss: As you approach your intended target, the target, at the last possible moment, turns her head to the side, and you get a mouthful of cheek. If this is a girl, you get a mouthful of rouge, if a guy, you often get a mouthful of zit-juice.

Type 2 Kiss: As you approach your target, both purse their lips, and the two membranes of skin touch. You need to be careful in this approach to get the nose thing right, at least one of you must turn slightly, but not both in the same direction. Small amounts of spittle and some microscopic mucus is passed during this procedure.

Type 3 Kiss: This is similar to the previous one, except now the lips, when pressed togther, are also slightly parted. This allows the exchange of foul smelling air from the lungs, containing carbon dioxide and halitosis, as well as more saliva and mucous to be exchanged.

Type 4 Kiss: Similar to the above type, except this time the muscle of the mouth is brought into play. Often known as tonsil hockey kissing, this involved attempting to tie your tongue in a knot with your victim's tongue. It can also include tasting what they had for supper by scraping the back of their teeth. The real danger in this kiss lies in the possibility of creating a pressure vacuum in the mouth cavities that will require dangerous pressure gradients to be released. Kissers have been known to be stuck together for over an hour. By the way, during this time (and hour) over half a cup of salvia can be exchanged between the competitors, and choking and asphyxiation have been known side-effects.

Now all of that sounds quite gross actually, but is it? Does any of what I've said do justice to a kiss? Does it really describe a kiss to someone? NO. A kiss is more than just the act of pressing two sets of lips together. A kiss engages your whole being. It's like electricity shooting through your system. You can hardly think or breath when it's happening, and you remember it for days later. Why?

Well, unless you've experienced a kiss you wouldn't know. And, as I said, I'm not talking about kissing your grandmother here. You need to experience a kiss from someone (or with someone) that you really love - someone that means something to you. Only then will you really know what a kiss is. And those who just look at you kissing will never understand what it really means.

So, kissing is only really kissing when it happens in a relationship. And only when that relationship is one of true love.

It's the same with being a Christian. Many of you here tonight are not Christians, and some of you don't know what we Christians get all excited about. You don't understand us, and you don't understand Christianity. It seems wierd to you. Well, you're looking from the outside in. In fact, I'm willing to bet that you'll never really understand. You see, being a Christian is about being in love with Jesus. Jesus is a real person - He lived and died on earth. His death wasn't just some arbitrary death, it was a cruel crucifixion on a Roman cross. The reason He allowed Himself to be put to death was so that He could prove His love for you.

You may have heard these silly songs that say things like: "I'd climb the highest mountain, or swim the deepest ocean - just to prove I love you". Well, Jesus would have done all of that, and more. But He chose rather to die for you. There isn't much more aomeone can do to prove they love you than to die for you - do you agree? Well, Jesus loves you that much!

But you'll never understand what it feels like unless you experience it. I'd invite you tonight to try it out. Some of you may be waiting on the outside, looking in, waiting until you understand Christianity before committing to Jesus. Well don't - because you won't. Just like kissing, it's very hard to explain my relationship with Jesus to you. All I know is that it is the greatest thrill of my life - and I mean that. It makes my life meaningful, and I couldn't live without it.

If you want to know more, speak to me or one of the leaders after the program, and we'll be happy to chat with you about wht I've said tonight.