Article: Martin's Millstone: How I Killed a Youth Ministry

Martin's Millstone: How I Killed A Youth Ministry

by A. Allan Martin

It started out so innocently. I had recently started graduate school and was looking for employment as a youth minister. Working with young people had always been a passion for me, and my graduate studies were part of the plan to continue my education as a youth ministry professional. For the experience and helpful additional income, I was looking for available positions.

Christ has got all the connections. Within a month I found a church interested in hiring a part-time youth minister. Their former youth pastor had gone back to seminary and there was a definite void that needed to be filled. I jumped at the chance and it really did seem providential that this opening came about. Reviewing my resume' and thoroughly interviewing me, the committee made up of parents, elders, and pastors gave me a good look over (e.g. This was one of their first questions, "What are your views on pre-marital sex?" They weren't fooling around; About this interview that is...). Within a week they welcomed me as the new minister for youth and young adults.

It all just happened so quickly. As soon as I said yes, I was thrown instantly into the hub of church life. I will never forget the Sabbath they introduced me to the youth and young adults. The young people were in the middle of Sabbath School, 30 to 40 of them, youth and young adults energetically playing a Bible game. Collegiate-age leaders were up front coaching, coaxing, and cheering participants. The adult sponsors were seated in the back making efforts to monitor and lure the "hallway crowd" into the action. A young married couple got up ready to take a stab at teaching the lesson when...

"I would like to introduce you to your new youth pastor," the senior pastor cheerfully interrupted as he pushed me towards the front and then skirted out of the classroom. I was at a loss. But dredging up some of that good ol' youth ministry ad lib, I managed to briefly introduce myself and let them get back to their regularly scheduled program. I have to admit, once I sat down, I got really excited. All those youth and young adults so actively involved thrilled me. I couldn't wait to jump in.

I met with the leaders, the core group. They were a mix of collegians who had grown up in the ministry of the former youth pastor and had taken over the reins of leadship since his departure. The former youth guy's move was an abrupt and traumatic transition for them; I could sense their tentativeness with my new face in the picture. The core group was anxious to trust, yet reserved. We had a great time during those first getting-acquainted meetings, and during that time I wanted to share with them my vision of youth and young adult ministry. The core group seemed hesitant, but respectful of my "expertise in ministry." I assured them that we would work together to implement my model.

Of course my model was right (What an ego!). With over a decade of youth & young adult ministry under my belt and the affirmation of the latest ministry resources concurring with me, I felt confident that we needed to make changes. We "needed" to move towards separating youth from young adults. This would allow us to specifically address their needs and issues, based on age/developmental stage. We would also start leadership development training. We would initiate a whole bunch of things. The core group thought that was all good and well, but they felt an urgency to plan a retreat which they were trying to put together last minute.

I axed it. With understanding (yeah right! #@!*!) and a firm rationale, I persuaded the core group to rethink their plans. I felt they needed to make sure and give themselves time enough to plan the retreat right. As it turned out, we never had the retreat. The timing never panned out and I had other things that needed to get started in this new ministry.

I stepped right in. With the new model in place, the ministry was growing by leaps and bounds. Youth and young adults began to actively participate and feel as if they had a voice that could be heard. We started our own youth church service and held a youth/young adult worship for the entire congregation once a month. The model ministry was flying and I felt very proud of the progress we were making. Accolades came from old and young alike as the program grew exponentially.

But what about "them?" The core group was involved in the progress, trying to keep up with my fresh ministry legs. But in my rush to rebuild a ministry that was theirs, I had smothered some of their fire. Since they were all students, I could really empathize with their gradual tapering down of involvement. I was happy to rescue programs when they had other obligations. I felt I was doing them a favor by being "superman minister."

Pretty soon the core group was making other "involvement investments" at school and in the mission field. Yet the youth and young adult ministry kept on growing. With that growth came new leaders and core people. Somewhere along the way, the original "core group" loss the sense that they were needed and vital.

I admit it; I murdered a youth ministry. Believe me it was involuntary ministry-slaughter, but none the less I phased out the active involvement of enthusiastic young leaders to implant my model. The core group was an invested set of volunteers willing to make mistakes, take risks, and lead since there was no youth ministry professional. But now the "pro" was here. Unintentionally, I robbed them of their sense of value and importance. I trampled over their special place of involvement to do my model ministry. They visit now and then, spectating mostly. Make no mistake, they are making an impact leading in their particular niches at school and work. As for our church, I murdered their ministry.

I've got to live with my millstone. Luke speaks plainly about harming youth and young adults (Check out the amplified version, Luke 17:1,2). No matter how much our youth and young adult ministry sparkles today, I still am reminded of the "clearing out" I am responsible for. It wasn't so much that I intentionally initiated a hostile takeover. I just honestly thought that our church would benefit from my "expertise and know-how." As a minister, an adult, and a fool, I fell into the same trap many adults in the Adventist church seem to be caught in: "SINCE WE ARE OLDER, OUR IDEAS ARE BETTER, AND THEREFORE WE ARE MORE IMPORTANT." As we adults communicate this generational bigotry through our actions (verbally and non-verbally) youth and young adults get the picture...clearly. Then they leave. Or worse yet...They lose hope. They lose vision.

Do it; Did it; Done it. Too often I get caught up "doing" ministry to youth instead of helping them realize that they are full-fledged, commissioned, ordained ministers (2 Corinthians 5:11-21). Nurturing their identity as Christ's liaisons should be my role. But no, no, no! Being a typical adult, it has been easier for me to "minister" to them, essentially using them to fuel my own sense of ministry prowess. And before you heave my stone to the bottom of the Pacific, let's (us adults) be honest. When one hears "youth and young adults" mentioned by adults in today's pulpit, one can almost always count on the orator being in the middle of some religious/political/fundraising appeal or pushing some personal holy agenda.

This is a murderer's confession. I have seldom come to my teens asking them their opinions and hearing out their visions for our ministry. I honestly can't remember the last time our elders ever asked one of our high school students their opinion on an important issue. Few of our church officers do any mentoring. I don't ever recall, our pastoral staff "doing lunch" with our collegians to get their input on our building project. Board members don't consult with youth. Even more remote: I have yet to see our contemporary church allow youth and young adults to lead in the same way our founding fathers and mothers young people led this movement. Instead, we adults do our studies about youth and young adult attrition and, still baffled, watch them leave. We promise them portions of the pie but cling to the power and the purse-strings. We moan about Generation X apathy and the exodus of our youth, all the while neglecting to change our adult ways. (Okay now you can throw my millstone overboard...)

But wait! No doubt I have done my share of good to youth and young adults. But even if I helped bring a deluge of youth and young adults to the kingdom, I am still better stuck at the bottom of the sea unless I change my ways. Ministering TO youth and young adults leaves very little room to minister WITH them, and I perpetuate the false adult assumption that they are inferior, incapable or inadequate. For all my adult experience, my adult maturity, my youth ministry ability...I am no better a swimmer with this millstone hung around my neck. My ministry murder has caused harm, and Christ says it's better from me to be plunged into the Pacific with millstone necklace to give me speed.

I request the King's acquittal. Taking seriously His warning, I have come to Him for forgiveness with a heart (and ministry) willing to change. If anyone can, He can cut me some slack. Simply by Christ's grace am I forgiven. And you know what? He even has enough left over grace to modify my ministry to reflect His design.

In Christ's world, things are different. He picked fishermen not Pharisees to lead His movement. He used a kid's lunch offering to overcome the skeptical pragmatism of the disciples. He seemed to care less about meeting with the adult leaders of His day and cared much more about hanging out with the youth.

"Let them come to me." Just like He challenged the disciples, I sense He is challenging me to let go a little. Okay, okay, a lot. Give youth and young adults a chance to see their reflection in Christ's eyes. Give them the room to flex their spiritual muscles and lead our church. I need to listen to them sing His ordained praises from their lips. I need to take notes. I need to learn from them. I need the innocent wisdom that their young minds can share with me. I need them to balance my convention with their creativity. I need them to lead my ministry. I need them to lead our church.

Christ is asking you to change too. Far too many youth dreams and young adult visions have died in bureaucracy cages designed and perpetuated by adults. Too many adult leaders see youth and young adult programs as "icing on the cake." Many adult administrators feel more comfortable in the company of regulations than in the company of young people. Too little effort is given to opening venues for adult-youth relationships and mentorship. There are not enough youth and young adults on our church boards, in our conference committees, at our union offices, and at our division and world headquarters to adequately reflect even a crumb from the leadership pie. Instead of field trips to the centers of leadership for our church, youth should learn leadership by apprenticing and field experience. Instead of kitchen cabinets to store youth and young adult opinions and concerns, we need ministry cooking classes with young people holding the spatula. Christ is asking all of us adults to let go a little. Okay, okay, to let go a lot. But the great news is...

It's an exchange program. As we learn from them, no doubt they will learn from us. Adult and young person alike will be benefited in the process. Our role as mentor, elder, and sage can serve to nurture our energetic youth and young adult leaders, innovators, and pioneers. And in the process of it all, we, youth, young adult, and adult, will all become more like Christ. I am all for becoming more like my youth and young adults. You see, Jesus gave me this notion that if I become more like them, I can trade this millstone in for the Kingdom. Not a bad trade in. Not a bad trade at all...

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We at dre.am VISION ministries (dVm) admire your efforts to positively impact young lives. Whether a parent, educator, lay leader, or ministry professional, you are a vital resource to our young people. We hope this article motivates you to make your impact. We welcome your comments and dialogue via e-mail:

dream_VISION_ministries@CompuServe.com

Let us know if we can be of further service to you or your young people.
Where There is Vision,

The Young People Flourish...

: )
Deirdre & Allan Martin
dre.am VISION ministries

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